Parenting discipline help #179463 - Ask Extension


Parenting discipline help #179463

Asked May 06, 2014, 7:27 AM EDT

Can you recommend a source or author that is really good for discipline? I love logical consequences, and we’ve been consistently doing all the positive reinforcement and things, but they are not working. I have a 2 1/2 year old that is very smart and VERY perseverant. For example, no matter how many times we calmly put him back in timeout or back in bed, he runs out - for 3-4 hours, until it's too late to nap and he becomes a small, sleep-deprived monster all evening.  I can’t come up with a consequence that my boy responds too. The only thing left is spanking, and I really want to avoid that, so I’m totally out of ideas. Please recommend some resources where I can find good information that goes beyond the basics, which we easily practice. The Just In Time newsletter is great, but I need much more in depth discipline strategies. Thank you!

Rutherford County Tennessee

Expert Response

I apologize for the delay in responding.

This must be frustrating (and exhausting!). I have a son who was one of these very bright, active, persistent toddlers who delighted us with his energy but also wore us down (like having 2 "typical" kids).

I know that your child is unique, and that you might have your own particular "taste" in books that match your own values and priorities. I'm going to make a suggestion, but I want to let you know "where I'm coming from" so you can judge my recommendation.

Some people rave about "1, 2, 3 Magic".  I think there are techniques and tools that can be helpful, but I'm troubled by the focus on obedience.  I prefer an approach used by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (titles below) because she helps parents understand what might be going on with the child, and promotes a process that will be helpful in guiding that child for the long haul. The focus is guiding kids in a way where you develop a relationship that helps kids manage strong emotions, The book titles might interest you:

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles

Sleepless in America: Is your child misbehaving...or missing sleep?

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic

If you check these out, let me know what you think.

Aaron Ebata Replied May 19, 2014, 11:16 AM EDT
Thank you so much for your response! I was afraid  my question would be passed perpetually. I will definitely check out the books you recommended!
The Question Asker Replied May 26, 2014, 4:40 PM EDT

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