Parenting discipline help #179463 - Ask Extension

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Parenting discipline help #179463

Asked May 06, 2014, 7:27 AM EDT

Can you recommend a source or author that is really good for discipline? I love logical consequences, and we’ve been consistently doing all the positive reinforcement and things, but they are not working. I have a 2 1/2 year old that is very smart and VERY perseverant. For example, no matter how many times we calmly put him back in timeout or back in bed, he runs out - for 3-4 hours, until it's too late to nap and he becomes a small, sleep-deprived monster all evening.  I can’t come up with a consequence that my boy responds too. The only thing left is spanking, and I really want to avoid that, so I’m totally out of ideas. Please recommend some resources where I can find good information that goes beyond the basics, which we easily practice. The Just In Time newsletter is great, but I need much more in depth discipline strategies. Thank you!

Rutherford County Tennessee

Expert Response

I apologize for the delay in responding.

This must be frustrating (and exhausting!). I have a son who was one of these very bright, active, persistent toddlers who delighted us with his energy but also wore us down (like having 2 "typical" kids).

I know that your child is unique, and that you might have your own particular "taste" in books that match your own values and priorities. I'm going to make a suggestion, but I want to let you know "where I'm coming from" so you can judge my recommendation.

Some people rave about "1, 2, 3 Magic".  I think there are techniques and tools that can be helpful, but I'm troubled by the focus on obedience.  I prefer an approach used by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (titles below) because she helps parents understand what might be going on with the child, and promotes a process that will be helpful in guiding that child for the long haul. The focus is guiding kids in a way where you develop a relationship that helps kids manage strong emotions, The book titles might interest you:

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles
http://www.amazon.com/Kids-Parents-Power-Struggles-Lifetime/dp/0060930438

Sleepless in America: Is your child misbehaving...or missing sleep?
http://www.amazon.com/Sleepless-America-Child-Misbehaving-Missing/dp/006073602X

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic 
http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Perceptive/dp/0060739665

If you check these out, let me know what you think.


Aaron Ebata Replied May 19, 2014, 11:16 AM EDT
Thank you so much for your response! I was afraid  my question would be passed perpetually. I will definitely check out the books you recommended!
The Question Asker Replied May 26, 2014, 4:40 PM EDT

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